After completing over 440 hours of training in the Eastern Caribbean, I am just days away from being sworn in as a Peace Corps Volunteer. Sitting here in my own space writing this piece, my mind is going a million miles a minute while I reflect on the last 60 days. Truly, it feels like it was another life since I was graduating college and goofing off with my friends. The reality is, I’ve been through so much in such a short amount of time.
In a matter of months, my life has been twisted upside down and turned sideways, and yet, it has me feeling more at home with myself and fuller than before.
Time moves as quick as lightning here, but sometimes, the night lingers longer than I’d like. My thoughts gravitate towards the notion that, I’m not the same girl I was when I boarded the plane in Miami in the beginning of July; I was timid, had an anxious mind, and worried that I wouldn’t find my place, my people, myself.
Boy did I have to pony up quick to become an advocate for myself and unpack all my baggage.
Especially in this last month/ phase 2 of my training in Grenada, I have experienced a whole new level of trials around and within me. Whilst on this journey, personally and professional, you’re pushed, you’re challenged, you’re lonely, you’re new, you’re doing, but sometimes failing, you’re vulnerable, you’re questioned, but at the end of the day, I look myself in the mirror and remind myself that I’m capable, here for a reason, and that I will show up better tomorrow.
I’m human though. I’m not invincible to the uncomfortable moments and the changing of the tides. My mindset keeps evolving in a healthy way to uplift my spirit and remind me of the goodness everywhere I look and the goodness in me. And that’s been my greatest takeaway from my 2nd month in the PC:
We don’t have to be who we’ve always been—we aren’t stuck in a bubble or under a rock. We are meant to be stagnant. We are meant to grow, learn, and blossom, and become the person our soul knows we are at our core. This PC journey has evoked so many important revelations like, who I really am, my convictions, and how I want to share my heart with others.
I’m reminded the importance of this—there needs to be a correlation between how you truly are and what you portray to the world; there needs to be a parallel, a consideration that runs from your core to the surface, or else you’ll wither away under the stress and speculation when you don’t walk the way you claim to. It isn’t easy always acting, putting on a show to pretend to be something you’re not.
When you show the world your colors, make sure they are your true, undeniable colors to show because eventually onlookers will see past the facade and you’ll only be shambles of the person you claim to be. We get this idea in our head of how we are suppose to act, look, behave, and speak to fit into a tiny box of what we believe others want to see. Quite frankly, none of that matters at all, if it doesn’t match what’s in your heart. I’m learning the importance of just being, unapologetically myself.
All my quirks are part of me. I don’t have to dull my shine or play it down. This life is big, beautiful, and captivating, and I don’t take that lightly. It truly is the little things in life that I enjoy the most, and being on this journey reminds me to love deeper, speak kinder words, and appreciate every interaction.
It’s a beautiful life and I hope you are creating a life you love too.
Thanks for following along my journey with Peace Corps Eastern Caribbean!
*** Disclaimer: These thoughts and views are entirely my own, and do not reflect the views of the Peace Corps or U.S. government ***